(If you haven’t read the first chapter of this three-part post, I really encourage you to do so! You can view it here.)
Content warning: Obesity. Binge eating disorder. Addiction.
I’ve been a bit hesitant to write this second chapter to this blog trilogy, but here we go. It needs to be put on paper and it needs to finally be acknowledged for what it is and what I aim to do about it. Dare I say, it’s time to talk about the elephant in the room? Haha, sorry.
If you know me, you know me. As it stands right now, I am grossly overweight. I’ve been quite overweight for the vast majority of my life, with the exclusion of the periods where I was at my peak fitness levels as I was training a lot in the realms of kickboxing and semi-contact fighting. It has however now got to the point where it dramatically affecting my health, my overall wellbeing, and even my social life.
I don’t want to talk too much about publicly (i.e. on the Internet) about what health issues I’ve gone through in the past, nor go into too much detail regarding my eating habits over the past few years, so I’ll keep it simple. My eating habits became inexcusably bad, and it all stems with my relationship with food.
- Free money? Check.
- No parents around to scold me? Check.
- No self-control when it comes to eating? Check.
- Sedentary lifestyle? Check.
- Obsession with fast food, particularly takeaways and pizza? Check.
This has to change. Of course, talk is cheap. There has been plenty of times in life I have talked about losing weight; how I’m going to make such a huge difference and in a few months time I’ll be a new person, whilst secretly eating, or binge eating and ordering takeaway to deal with stress. The binge eating sometimes would get quite bad. Quite frankly, I won’t have the money this year to be spending it on junk food.
Just earlier today, a friend of mine said he would lend me money to help with my living costs on the condition I’d pay it back – that’s fine. He also stipulated that he wanted to see that it would be spent responsibly, that he would check at random intervals and would demand unaltered copies of my bank statements and/or budgeting spreadsheets to confirm it. For the first time in my life, I felt like a drug addict. A drug addict trying to justify to someone that I’ll “be good”, and that I won’t relapse into eating garbage and wasting money on energy drinks or chocolate. You know, I’ve spent years openly criticising smokers, drug addicts, and alcoholics ignorantly not realising that those in glass houses really shouldn’t throw stones – not realising that I’m in the same basket, struggling with addiction.
I’ll spend a budgeted amount weekly on food (along with everything else). I’ll make use of my university’s free gym membership. I’ll return to kickboxing to become the fighter I once were. I’ll walk more. I’ll drink more water. I even have a kickass Dragon Ball themed playlist for workouts, because if you didn’t know already, I love Dragon Ball. This blog post acts like a contract, and I’ll be posting updates too on a routine basis as to how I’m getting on. It won’t be easy – nothing is. But things have to change. If you know me in person, please keep messaging me. Hold me accountable. Demand updates. Even if you’re not – drop me an email, or tweet at me. I’m certain great things can happen if I just work at it and make small, incremental changes. I just have to keep going. If Boogie2988 can make drastic change to his life, then damn it so can I.
You will find updates about my fitness in the Fitness 18-19 category of this website. Bookmark it, if you’re so inclined.
Tune in next time for the third part of this trilogy, where I’ll discuss the remainder of what I want to achieve throughout this academic year. I really hope to see you there.